“A warm dawn awaits after every cold night.”
We’ve all been there. It’s the difficult, transitional point in your life when you begin to realize that you’re a little different from those around you. You may have thoughts and urges that contradict the values and beliefs you were taught as a child. Everything you think and feel seems so radically different from what it “should be.”
But are you gay? What is “gay,” anyway? You’ve tried to force yourself to be interested in girls, and you’re just not feeling it. You’ve tried to go out for sports or connect with male friends your age, and it simply isn’t working. And while all the boys you grew up with are talking about who they’re taking to the school dance, what girls they think are pretty, and who they’re going to ask out, you instead are fantasizing about the hot, young male celeb you saw on T.V. last night…. or even that masculine, charismatic athlete you sit next to in history class. It feels so wrong, but you just can’t control it.
What you are feeling is not wrong. It’s part of growing up, and everyone grows up differently. You are coming of age, and have reached an important milestone of youth — sexual self-identification. Not everyone is gay, obviously… in fact, most people are not. You probably feel like life would be much easier if you could go out, find a girlfriend, and connect on a heterosexual level with those around you. The truth, however, is that you are going to be miserable if you try to live a lifestyle that completely repels you. You are who you are, so be true to yourself. Going forward in life as a gay teenager isn’t the easiest lifestyle choice out there, but it’s also probably not the absolute social suicide you may think it’s going to be.
